(this shall remain untitled... for now)

I never knew that such a simple thing could make me do so many complicated things. I've wanted you since the day he left. I've dreamt of you. I've thought of you so often, I find myself drifting away in thought during moments that require so much of me... and yet... I've allowed you to drink up my time in search of ways to get you. I - I don't know how exactly to go about getting what I want from you... or even what exactly it is that I do want. Maybe it's the feeling that you give me when I've had you before. Or maybe it's the fact that I don't have you now, because I certainly didn't appreciate you when I did. All I know is that I want you. And I'd do just about anything to get you. Do you - feel the same? Or can you even want? Maybe this isn't so simple. It's interesting to me to know that without another, your true essence is lacking... and I could try to picture you with someone else, but - I don't want to. You've perplexed me. I've tried to act as if it doesn't matter either way. That I can wait. That it'll be so worth it once you've finally made up your mind to return... but I'm so impatient. You're so sweet when you want to be. Your passion speaks volumes... your anger and indifference too. I know I shouldn't crave you this badly... it isn't right. When you're in my presence, I take what I can get from you... ::sigh::... You really shouldn't neglect me in this way. Do you have any idea what you're doing? What you've done? What you've created in me? How difficult it was to try to find you in someone else? And fail? Ha... it's a crazy feeling you know. It's absolutely maddening.